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  Site Home › Teens & Kids › Peer Relationships
   
 

Relationships: Fear of Rejection = Self Sabotage

   
Author: Nick Arrizza, M.D.
 

I'm sure many of you have had a failed relationship in your past where you may have been rejected by your former mate. This can leave a deeply embedded wound in your mind/body that you then carry into future relationships.

Apart from the hurt, sadness and pain associated with such a wound there is also an over arching "fear of rejection" that can set in. If you've ever pondered the purpose of such a fear inside of you, you might have come to the conclusion that such conditioning was there to protect you the next time you found yourself venturing towards a new relationship.

Is this however true?

Let's look at what the consequences of carrying such a fear are for you.

Let's suppose you are entering into a new relationship and you find yourself "feeling" this fear, notice, as you feel it what it does to you.

I think you will notice some or all of the following: a reluctance to be open and honest about who you are and what you think and feel (i.e. unable to become fully intimate with your friend), a feeling of tenseness, nervousness, feeling like your emotional self is shut down, untrusting, fearful, guarded, a tendency to draw back, uneasy, uncomfortable and so on.

So how do you think this will be perceived and felt by your friend?

Well if you're not sure, put the shoe on the other foot and assume that it is your friend who is in this state. How does he/she feel to you?

Well I'm sure he/she will feel distant, cold, untrustworthy, as if there is a lot that is being held back from you, not fully present, anxious, and a bit of a downer, to name a few.

So how inspiring does such an individual feel to you? Not very I'm sure!

The most likely outcome is that this relationship is already doomed from the start. That is you risk another painful ending once again thus further adding to the trauma that you carry.

So you see the maxim here is that trauma from unsuccessful past relationships must be healed before engaging a new one otherwise you are setting yourself up for a repetition of the past. Time alone will not heal such trauma only push it underground where you will have even less awareness of its negative affects on you.

Releasing such trauma can be done quickly and easily through a new modality called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) which I have written extensively about.

To learn more kindly visit the web link below.

 
 
 

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